Happy Birthday Caleb Todd!

When I was a Junior in high school our church went to Enid, OK to do some mission work with the church there. We had worked with them before but usually they came to see us in Nebraska. Little did I know that I would meet my future best friend on that trip. A few years later we both ended up at Harding and realized that we were more than friends, we were siblings that I'm still convinced we were actually separated at birth. There is never a dull moment when you are with Caleb, and he is one of the most loyal people I've ever known. He is the reason I met Nate. When I lived in Stillwater I could always count on him for evening entertainment after we were out of class/work. I will forever love this kid as a brother. So to celebrate his day of birth and his being on this earth for 23 years, I will now give you a photo montage of our friendship!

                                                        wedding fun!-april 2011

                                                       vagabond inn-march 2009

     trip to denison-April 2010

                                                Saint Patty's Day-2010

                                               HAHAHAHAHA-MLK DAY JAN. 2010

                                           Caleb's Birthday- Aug. 2009 "the morning I swiffered the floor"

                                               BFF4L-Stillwater 2010

                                                  Hot Springs Knighting Ceremony-2009

A Friend Is A Brother Who Was Once A Bother

It is so amazing to me that this little blond headed cheesy grinned faced brother of mine, became this grown up handsome soldier.

It is no secret from those who have known my family since my brother and I were little that we were one of two things. Fighting with each other, or sleeping. Well, I take that back, we did play together a lot and had fun bugging mom and dad to death, but usually that playing ended up in one of us punching or biting the other. That best friend brother/sister combo was NEVER us, and to this day I don't know if we could go a week without "bickering" as my dad called it.
One thing is for certain though, I have always loved that little bother of a brother since the first day he came to our family. One of my earliest memories is standing in the little courtroom during his adoption trial and promising the judge I would love him forever. This promise still holds true, especially in the circumstances of this year.
That sweet brother of mine had his tonsils removed last Christmas, everything was as okay as it could be until he woke up coughing up blood. From what I have understood they didn't "burn" one of his arteries in his throat well enough when they finished removing his tonsils. I can't imagine what my family went through that morning. I received a phone call from my mom after it was all over and okay. She knows me too well. She knew I would get so worked up I wouldn't be able to function. They almost lost my sweet brother that morning but thanks to God and the hospital staff that kid is still here.
Those of you that know him know that he drove a car when he was a toddler, fell out of our three story house onto concrete, and got bit by various poisonous snakes and bugs. He has a track record and the events in January 2012 proved that God still wants him around for some reason.
Personally I think that reason is to bring joy to those around him (and possibly become president one day).
My brother has this amazing sense to become friends with anyone and everyone. He would always make friends with the other little kids in the campground on our family vacations, and to this day he will just yell at me and say "JUST GO MAKE FRIENDS KACIE IT'S NOT THAT HARD". We are two completely different people besides the matter of being extremely loud people, my poor parents adopted the two loudest kids there was to adopt I think. Although I am a loud person I clam up in group situations and become very shy. I blame this on having the same friends and living in the same town for 18 years. My brother on the other hand is the loudest person I know and for some reason one of the most respected people I know. He gets along with anyone and everyone. The teachers that hated me in school love my brother as if he was their own kid. It's hilarious for me to see them love them the way they do and have the memory of them screaming their heads off at me.
I will stop rambling now and get to the point. I love my brother so much even though as "grown ups" I've spent more time with my best friend Caleb than I have my "grown up" brother. Point being after almost losing him again in January I wanted anything for him besides him joining the military.

Disclaimer: I appreciate those who have or are serving in our military. I could never do it. I can't commit to one thing for that many years (besides my husband of course). I could never be away from my family for that long without contact. And I could never lay my life down for a stranger's freedom.  This is why our military are the most amazing humans on Earth.

That being said I still didn't like the thought of MY BROTHER possibly losing his life again. He has always talked back and forth about joining but changed his mine and followed another path. Well this time he did it, and he did it big. He signed up for 8 years against my petitioning against it. You'd think he'd of learned to listen to me by now. :)
 I cried randomly for weeks. I'd be sitting at a restaurant and just start crying. My husband began to grow weary of all this ridiculous emotion I was showing and finally had enough of it and said, "Kacie, there is nothing left you can do, he has signed up". That was what I needed to hear, the fact that no matter how much I cried this time, it was not going to change the situation.
I cried so much because THIS WAS MY BABY BROTHER. This is the little one that came to our family because God wanted him with us. This was the little brother who I could talk into jumping off the roof onto the trampoline, the brother that let my friends and I tie him up to a tree, the brother who played the groom and got married to my friends when we'd play wedding, the star football player, the comedian for anyone that needed it, the EMT who was determined to save lives. MY BROTHER is not supposed to purposely sign up for the military. NO! Only if there is a draft would MY BROTHER join the military.
Those thoughts that constantly ran through my head finally settled into my brain as a reality that I would have to grasp from now on.
Through the last couple of months he has been at his basic training. His letters have transformed my fears into pride. His transformation into a soldier and a stronger Christian make me cry for more reasons than my fear had me crying about. He is thriving in the military world, of course he has made new friends. He has a whole new look at the way God has things planned for him, and I couldn't be happier for him.
The world around us is scary and I know that the hopes of keeping him protected in America for the 8 years he serves are probably just another one of my dreams. I could not be more proud of him.
I feel like a mom trying to protect her baby. I cannot even imagine what my mom feels like. She wasn't as against it as I was in the beginning but still. To watch your son become a United States soldier must feel like some sort of accomplishment. That her and my dad raised such an outstanding son who was willing to give away years of his life to protect the freedom of the citizens of this nation.
WOW.
That is all I can say anymore. My little bother of a brother, has become an inspiring individual for me. In two weeks we will gather at his graduation from basic and I know I will be crying mostly from pride that he did it. Granted this is just a small milestone of what he will have to face in the coming years, but he did it. He stuck to his dream and he is accomplishing a big part of it.
This post is for you brother, although I would still prefer you living in a cave and being safe all the time I know this is not the will that God has planned for you. You are the most courageous person I know.
Love always,
your big mean sister

The Doctor Dilemma

I am 23 years old. I should be in the prime of my life. For some reason though God has chosen me to deal with a mystery disease that no doctor has been able to pinpoint the cause yet. I have been tested for everything from arthritis, to allergies, to lyme disease to MS. It's scary. I try not to let it get to me, but I am growing weary and tired from dealing with it and that is why I went to a DO.

My history with doctors is not a swell one. I don't trust them any farther than I can throw them. (This excluding my family members who are in the medical world, because they are my family and obviously I trust family). In the case of today I realized that this "best DO in the metroplex" was just trying to get a paycheck and I could not be more upset about it.

Today I sat in a room with my husband almost in tears because the DO came in and rattled off a lot of stuff about my blood work from a week ago in his doctor lingo. I tried to tell him what had been going on and he just kept talking. I never saw him again after that brief 3 minutes. I am so tired. I am so tired of not being heard.

This post really doesn't have a point besides the fact that I hope that my path leads me to a doctor who will actually care.

Sidenote. The DO today looked like he may have been wearing the same clothes he wore to a bar last night, he spent more time on his long hair than he did in the room with me, and I could see all his tattoos, including the one that said Bridget on his arm. I am not against any of this but I am if you act like he did. Like I was messing up his ping pong time. Yes, while Nate and I were sitting there confused after he left from lack of description of the tests he wanted done and why, we heard a ping pong tournament going on in the room next to us.

You better believe Mr. DO will be getting a FAILED survey from me when they call for one!

The Beginning

I once had a blog about recipes. I think I may have posted three times before I grew bored of the process of uploading pointless instructions and pictures. Let us see if this time around I can commit to doing this for real.

This blog is for those of you who have known me for years, and for those in the present who will fall into that category someday.

Those of you who presently have known me for years will understand the title of this blog more than those who have just stumbled upon it, and that is why I will take a few minutes to explain.

"Our Path Off Course" was constructed by me and my best friend Megan the other night. I feel that it sums me up better than anything in the world. I have never been one to conform or to go along with what the "norm" is. No matter who it was with, or where in this big world I was. I titled it "Our" instead of "Mine" because I now share my life with my wonderful husband who has the same philosophy, even though I doubt he will ever be a guest on this blog he is still a very important puzzle piece in my path.

Growing up I dressed up in petticoats and sang in front of the TV.  My mother had me tell her stories that we constructed into books (Peter and the Goats was my favorite). In school I colored my Thanksgiving turkey in tyedye, I wrote a "Christmas is. . ." poster in second grade and put "Christmas is not Jesus's Birthday" (which is a whole other topic for a much different time). My point being is I have always been a strong willed individual. I have ALWAYS marched the beat of my own drum. I have always been on my own path in life. I would always notice other kids were doing things "on course" with what our parents, teachers, coaches or any one else believed was the right choice. Then there was me. Stirring up what others thought was trouble and to me it was just me marching down my own path, coming up with other alternatives.

My parents (although I'm sure were nervous) allowed me to do so. I know at times my Dad was absolutely embarrassed to admit he knew me when we'd "create" outfits from the thrift store and parade around town. My mother always encouraged me to know my voice and to own my voice. Then there was my precious Grandmother who no matter how far away she was, was always there to answer my call and support me no matter how bizzare of a story I told her. Somehow even though I am adopted and in no way blood related that woman and I have more in common than me and anyone else that graces this Earth. The shenanigans she pulled when she was younger strangely sing a similar song to the ones I pulled.


Then there is my precious husband who of course I met on a unconventional pathway (we'll save that story for a rainy day). In recent days he has encouraged us to go along our own path, create our lives for each other and no other human, and for that I will never be able to thank him enough. I may even convince him to leave Texas and be adventurous with me somewhere else before we start a family. The options are endless.

So while I know there are a lot of people who are "on their course" and think I am absolutely out of my mind I know they haven't taken the time to go to Sonic with me, enjoy a limeade and a Coldplay CD. For the people who have taken that time I salute you and dedicate this blog to you. Because it is people like you who have constantly become important pinpoints on my timeline of life so far.

I hope this blog will open the doors of individuality for some. I hope it shows that being on your own path and living for yourself and not others can and will work.